It is now safe to imagine. It is now becoming increasingly easy to actually dare to think that, in less than one year’s time, Dubya will begin packing his bags, jamming into his Spongebob duffel his map of the world coloring book, English-to-English translation dictionaries, mangled pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution, Bibleman action figure set and a “Mission Accomplished!” sweatshirt, and heading off to face his destiny as one of the bleakest, most morally repellent chapters in all of American history.
Federal investigators are bearing down on Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson for setting up his buddies with contracts and then telling Congress that he didn’t “touch contracts.”
A long time lurker who pops in occasionally ~ thought on this day of Thanksgiving, I’d post my holiday “story” sent out to friends and family. Hoping it brings a smile as a small token of thanks for all the sanity in a world seeming to go insane - and the all important humor/snark that everyone here at FDL offers me daily. Happy Thanksgiving all!
A TURKEY TALE
No wonder they are the traditional Holiday bird of choice. Granted ~ I know most of us don’t go out and bag a wild one for our Thanksgiving table, and Foster Farms and Norbest aren’t providing us with the wild variety in the grocery store. But after my recent experiences with a flock of these ding-bats that have invaded our place, it’s no wonder to me that they’ve been an easy source of sustenance in the wild for humans going back to the Native Americans and the Mayflower days.
Simply stated ~ they are dumber than dirt.
A flock of 20 has recently decided our 5 1/2 acres is the turkey equivalent of a fine resort. In the past, I’ve had encounters with them on narrow rural roads that gave me my first inkling that they might not be operating with a full deck. You know it’s bad when after honking your horn repeatedly and trying to run them over, they STILL won’t move, getting the hint only when you get out of the car and start screaming at them like a banshee. Does the concept of “predator” just not compute with these birds? Evidently not.
The first time they made their presence known here was one balmy fall afternoon on our expansive front lawn. My first reaction was an admittedly naive, “aww, what a picture.” The flock was on the bright green lawn; there was a crisp blue sky and the visual accent of fall colored maple trees; a white picket fence in the background, the horses watching them from over the railing. I had a few moments of mother nature appreciative love and wonder at the idyllic scene in front of me - “what a great Thanksgiving Card this would make” thought I. That reverie lasted as long as it took the spouse to discover that they’d poked huge holes in the drip line, and began to verbally express his displeasure in ways that I won’t share in the interest of not offending my readers.
Now being a horseperson and somewhat understanding of the ways and mindset of prey animals, I figured the best way to discourage these creatures from making a permanent home out of our Casa, was to make the “right thing easy, and the wrong thing difficult”; make them think this wasn’t a safe place to be. Forgetting the lack of intelligence factor I was dealing with, I decided that if I made a point of scaring the holy hell out of them each time I caught them on the property somewhere, they’d quickly make the connection that there were calmer and safer places to hang out - like the acreage on the other side of our property.
Wrong.
Employing everything from the hose, a variety of brooms, to wildly slung rope halters while imitating a lunatic - every time I found them on the property I did my best to let them think this is a very scary place to be. Only one problem; they don’t care! The reaction each time was exactly the same - first, they stared at me coming toward them. Then, as I got ridiculously close to them with whatever object chosen “this” time with which to instill the fear of God in them…they’d begin to maybe…actually move. If I kept advancing on them? IF, I was lucky, they’d break into (pardon the expression, but I now know where it came from) a trot.
But then they’d scatter, in what I’ve determined is not a strategic tactic on their part, but simply a way of continuing for as long as possible to do ANYTHING - except have to fly. Because not only are they dumb? But they’re also apparently incredibly lazy. They’re BIRDS for crying out loud; and they evidently would prefer to do just about anything other than take flight.
The only thing I realized I had going for me was that they’re somewhat herd bound; and when one slightly brighter crayon in the turkey box finally decides that maybe it IS time to get out of Dodge and takes wing - the rest will finally follow and settle in the field on the other side of our no-climb fence; going back to pecking in the dry grass over there immediately, as if absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
I suppose I could take that as a zen-like lesson about living in the now?
But I digress…………….
So…….just about every morning for the past two weeks (you can see how effective I’ve been), I go out to feed the horses and find the gang on the lawn. Each time - I go into my lunatic imitation. And each time - I get the same result. Until this morning, which is what prompted my sitting down to share this story.
This morning, for whatever reason, the slightly brighter turkey in the box…not so brightly decided for the first time to fly over the pasture fence ~ and in with the horses. His gang followed.
Now one of my Quarter Horses is a character. A mare named Lucy, she has an abundance of frustrated, under-utilized cow-horse tendencies. She took one look at these birds in her pasture, and instinct kicked in.
Oh where is the video camera when you need it?
I am unfortunately reduced to trying to express the ensuing hysterical result in sadly inadequate - words. Please use your imagination, and try to picture this horse going after this flock of turkeys as if they were a herd of cows. Head in the classic cowhorse “down and rooting” position; ears pinned; her body wound and ready - she sprung into action and went after them. The birds? Well THIS, seemed to finally be the key to survival instinct kicking in; I have never seen them move - and fly - so fast.
So if they’re dumb enough (and I suspect…sigh…that they are), to be back tomorrow morning?
Dear Horsewoman,maybe,just maybe you have hit apon the intellectual and philisophical base of the current regime.in which case the tactics of the horse should be carefully studied and emulated as soon as possible.
you can get anything you want
at Alices restaurant
excepting Alice.
Just about ready to walk out the door, but I had to stop and listen and say thank you for this! An outstanding, excellent treat for Thanksgiving Day! I already heard it at 8:00 AM on KSLX (they play it four times every Thanksgiving Day, it’s a tradition) but I love to listen to it more than once on turkey day.
May @ 30 ~ I have to admit the connection between our current so-called inept leader and the backsides of my equines has not gone un-noticed … so your suggestion that I now look at the entire administration as a bunch of turkeys ~ isn’t a huge mental leap for me :-)
May @ 30 ~ I have to admit the connection between our current so-called inept leader and the backsides of my equines has not gone un-noticed … so your suggestion that I now look at the entire administration as a bunch of turkeys ~ isn’t a huge mental leap for me :-)
Heh, Sic Lucy on ‘em, I’d heard Shrub is scared of horses… ;-)
It had just come out when I got my notice to report to a draft physical. My girlfriend at the time wanted to do something special to make me feel better about the experience. So the night before the physical, she made me a wonderful meal and then played this new record I had not heard called Alice’s Restaurant. We made love all night so I was in the appropriate (exhausted) frame of mind for the draft “physicians.”
It is hard for me not to just break out grinning whenever I hear it. Reminds me of how much encouragement we who were organizing protests of the Vietnam War got from loved ones. Thanks for the post.
I recall when this song came out. Great stuff. I still refer to the Group W Bench, but the younger folks have no idea what I’m talking about.
Most people refer to the 27 8*10 color glossies. For those of you too young to remember, this is what we mean about protest. There were all forms of protest then, and protesters had lots of company. About now it might also be a good time to remember the four dead in Ohio. These events changed our lives and our society, but the patriotism that was the inspiration needs to be reawakened, or we will surely be living in a fascist state with a dictator in charge.
Afternoon, ET!
That’s a mighty slab you have there.
In past years, we snacked on Dungeness Crab in the mornings while watching football and awaiting the turkey and trimmings. But thanks to a “little” fuel oil spill in the SF Bay, that’s not an option this year. But Alaskans need not be reminded of that circumstance.
Happy Thanksgiving up there!
I recall when this song came out. Great stuff. I still refer to the Group W Bench, but the younger folks have no idea what I’m talking about.
Most people refer to the 27 8*10 color glossies. For those of you too young to remember, this is what we mean about protest. There were all forms of protest then, and protesters had lots of company. About now it might also be a good time to remember the four dead in Ohio. These events changed our lives and our society, but the patriotism that was the inspiration needs to be reawakened, or we will surely be living in a fascist state with a dictator in charge.
Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks be to FDL for everything you have accomplished, and pushed us to accomplish, in these dark years.
Horsewoman, my dog gets our local wild flock to fly :) Unfortunately, the lonely single neigbhor feeds them (and every other animal) so they spend a lot of time here. As do the skunks, coons, deer, squirrels, and the occasional black bear.
mrbrat just poked his head outta da kitchen and asked if I was going to be playing Arlo all afternoon - his pained expression cracked me up. Dear man was born just a mere decade too late to completely appreciate DFH musical taste. ;~)
I saw the movie in Chicago a few months after release after going up there for a physical for Annapolis. Just another step on the road to my DFH status.
Damn the turkey is smelling awesome! Guests are just arriving. We always do a big dinner for those other families, like ours, whose extended family is far away. Today it’s a party of 15. Got our 25 lb. free-range all-natural turkey, stuffed (with a traditional stuffing), a to-die-for “dressing” made of cornbread, mushrooms, leeks, and gorgonzola, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, tequila yam. That’s without discussing the appetizers or the desserts including my wife’s incredible apple pie, or the free-flowing spirits.
Before the meal we have everyone write down 3 things they are thankful for and put them in a hat. At the table we take turns picking, reading, and guessing who wrote what. After dinner we draw for tasks, this is an equal opportunity household. Later, when the triptofan wears off, we usually play some games, maybe let the kids watch a movie.
Next year we will be in France for the year, so I anticipate a very different sort of Thanksgiving.
mrbrat just poked his head outta da kitchen and asked if I was going to be playing Arlo all afternoon - his pained expression cracked me up. Dear man was born just a mere decade too late to completely appreciate DFH musical taste. ;~)
Hello, npb-
Monterey Bay must be beautiful today…
Happy TurkeyDay!
In New Jersey, there weren’t state playoffs until the mid-1980s. Thanksgiving Day was the traditional end of the season, and a lot of traditional rivalry games are still played on Turkey Day.
And what better reason could there be to hit Pause on the iPod feeding Karen Armstrong’s Buddha into my head while I’m cooking away here in the kitchen and give Arlo a listen.
1. TURKEY INTELLIGENCE
In response to disparaging remarks made in the media about turkeys, Oregon State University poultry scientist and animal science professor Tom Savage says “They have no idea what they are talking about.” He attributes the awkward appearance and peculiar behavior of domestic turkeys to the selective breeding they have been subjected to for meat production. As an example of their intelligence, Savage points out the sociability of the birds, noting that they will play together with an apple “kind of like football.” Regarding the myth that turkeys are stupid enough to drown in the rain, Savage and his colleagues at OSU discovered a genetic condition called tetanic torticollar spasms that afflicts some turkeys. It causes them to act abnormally, sometimes cocking their heads and staring at the sky for 30 seconds or more. (See: http://tinyurl.com/xd82 ) “It’s an example of how a misunderstood animal behavior becomes identified as proof that the animal is extremely lacking in intelligence,” Savage notes.
Also, turkey eyesight is awesome. That makes turkey hunting season the most dangerous of all; since hunters must wear camoflage, they sometimes end up shooting each other.
The biggest flock of wild turkeys I’ve seen on my country place probably numbered over 50. A remarkable sight.
1. TURKEY INTELLIGENCE
In response to disparaging remarks made in the media about turkeys, Oregon State University poultry scientist and animal science professor Tom Savage says “They have no idea what they are talking about.” He attributes the awkward appearance and peculiar behavior of domestic turkeys to the selective breeding they have been subjected to for meat production. As an example of their intelligence, Savage points out the sociability of the birds, noting that they will play together with an apple “kind of like football.” Regarding the myth that turkeys are stupid enough to drown in the rain, Savage and his colleagues at OSU discovered a genetic condition called tetanic torticollar spasms that afflicts some turkeys. It causes them to act abnormally, sometimes cocking their heads and staring at the sky for 30 seconds or more. (See: http://tinyurl.com/xd82 ) “It’s an example of how a misunderstood animal behavior becomes identified as proof that the animal is extremely lacking in intelligence,” Savage notes.
Also, turkey eyesight is awesome. That makes turkey hunting season the most dangerous of all; since hunters must wear camoflage, they sometimes end up shooting each other.
The biggest flock of wild turkeys I’ve seen on my country place probably numbered over 50. A remarkable sight.
What you’re saying is, we can teach them to clear brush?
1. TURKEY INTELLIGENCE
In response to disparaging remarks made in the media about turkeys, Oregon State University poultry scientist and animal science professor Tom Savage says “They have no idea what they are talking about.” He attributes the awkward appearance and peculiar behavior of domestic turkeys to the selective breeding they have been subjected to for meat production. As an example of their intelligence, Savage points out the sociability of the birds, noting that they will play together with an apple “kind of like football.” Regarding the myth that turkeys are stupid enough to drown in the rain, Savage and his colleagues at OSU discovered a genetic condition called tetanic torticollar spasms that afflicts some turkeys. It causes them to act abnormally, sometimes cocking their heads and staring at the sky for 30 seconds or more. (See: http://tinyurl.com/xd82 ) “It’s an example of how a misunderstood animal behavior becomes identified as proof that the animal is extremely lacking in intelligence,” Savage notes.
Also, turkey eyesight is awesome. That makes turkey hunting season the most dangerous of all; since hunters must wear camoflage, they sometimes end up shooting each other.
The biggest flock of wild turkeys I’ve seen on my country place probably numbered over 50. A remarkable sight.
IIRC, Ben Franklin proposed the wild turkey as the national symbol for its intelligence cuz the eagle is a scavenger.
Turkeys are not stupid. Here’s some evidence:
Also, turkey eyesight is awesome. That makes turkey hunting season the most dangerous of all; since hunters must wear camoflage, they sometimes end up shooting each other.
The biggest flock of wild turkeys I’ve seen on my country place probably numbered over 50. A remarkable sight.
What you’re saying is, we can teach them to clear brush?
Or to beat the Dumont Huskies on Thanksgiving day.
Across the street from our house in the elementary school playing field, the traditional Thanksgiving Day pickup soccer game is in full swing. Mexican immigrants vs. Salvadoran immigrants. No gabachos need apply.
There is more than a little tongue in cheek to that story; I have a very deep respect for mother nature. I live up outside Redding in NorCal and there are MORE than enough hunters up here that would love to take care of my “invasion” and there’s no way they get even NEAR our Ranch ~ my horses’ “encouraging” them to fly, yes. Using them for sport? Not me…..
And what better reason could there be to hit Pause on the iPod feeding Karen Armstrong’s Buddha into my head while I’m cooking away here in the kitchen and give Arlo a listen.
Thanks, Jane! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Mukei! So good to hear from you again. Gassho — mokaha
eCAHN, this vegetarian lover of all creatures great and small (except a small but toxic portion of the human species) thanks you for your defense of a helpless and maligned creature. They have a rather interesting social structure, and their plumage is a glory of iridescence. A pair of males in full strut is a delight to behold.
eCAHN, this vegetarian lover of all creatures great and small (except a small but toxic portion of the human species) thanks you for your defense of a helpless and maligned creature. They have a rather interesting social structure, and their plumage is a glory of iridescence. A pair of males in full strut is a delight to behold.
I actually love the wild ones. I see a lot of them and I’ve picked up many of those beutiful tail feathers. I have a somewhat anthropomorphic attitude about the turkeys, deer, and coyotes on my place.
However, that does not stop me from allowing hunting & partaking in the results. There’s a reason why we’re at the top of the food chain.
mrbrat just poked his head outta da kitchen and asked if I was going to be playing Arlo all afternoon - his pained expression cracked me up. Dear man was born just a mere decade too late to completely appreciate DFH musical taste. ;~)
Hello, npb-
Monterey Bay must be beautiful today…
Happy TurkeyDay!
Hey newtonusr! We are having a spectacular clear blue skies and blessed sunshine after a much needed rain showers early in the week.
What cha doing for dinner today - still plenty of time to head down the coast if you’d like to join us - Sahra and her family are spending the day in the City and dropping by for dessert early evening en route home. ;~)
It is now safe to imagine. It is now becoming increasingly easy to actually dare to think that, in less than one year’s time, Dubya will begin packing his bags, jamming into his Spongebob duffel his map of the world coloring book, English-to-English translation dictionaries, mangled pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution, Bibleman action figure set and a “Mission Accomplished!” sweatshirt, and heading off to face his destiny as one of the bleakest, most morally repellent chapters in all of American history.
It is long past time to take out the garbage…
In other words, the coup has to be announced within the next twelve months if it’s going to happen at all.
A long time lurker who pops in occasionally ~ thought on this day of Thanksgiving, I’d post my holiday “story” sent out to friends and family. Hoping it brings a smile as a small token of thanks for all the sanity in a world seeming to go insane - and the all important humor/snark that everyone here at FDL offers me daily. Happy Thanksgiving all!
A TURKEY TALE
No wonder they are the traditional Holiday bird of choice. Granted ~ I know most of us don’t go out and bag a wild one for our Thanksgiving table, and Foster Farms and Norbest aren’t providing us with the wild variety in the grocery store. But after my recent experiences with a flock of these ding-bats that have invaded our place, it’s no wonder to me that they’ve been an easy source of sustenance in the wild for humans going back to the Native Americans and the Mayflower days.
Simply stated ~ they are dumber than dirt.
A flock of 20 has recently decided our 5 1/2 acres is the turkey equivalent of a fine resort. In the past, I’ve had encounters with them on narrow rural roads that gave me my first inkling that they might not be operating with a full deck. You know it’s bad when after honking your horn repeatedly and trying to run them over, they STILL won’t move, getting the hint only when you get out of the car and start screaming at them like a banshee. Does the concept of “predator” just not compute with these birds? Evidently not.
The first time they made their presence known here was one balmy fall afternoon on our expansive front lawn. My first reaction was an admittedly naive, “aww, what a picture.” The flock was on the bright green lawn; there was a crisp blue sky and the visual accent of fall colored maple trees; a white picket fence in the background, the horses watching them from over the railing. I had a few moments of mother nature appreciative love and wonder at the idyllic scene in front of me - “what a great Thanksgiving Card this would make” thought I. That reverie lasted as long as it took the spouse to discover that they’d poked huge holes in the drip line, and began to verbally express his displeasure in ways that I won’t share in the interest of not offending my readers.
Now being a horseperson and somewhat understanding of the ways and mindset of prey animals, I figured the best way to discourage these creatures from making a permanent home out of our Casa, was to make the “right thing easy, and the wrong thing difficult”; make them think this wasn’t a safe place to be. Forgetting the lack of intelligence factor I was dealing with, I decided that if I made a point of scaring the holy hell out of them each time I caught them on the property somewhere, they’d quickly make the connection that there were calmer and safer places to hang out - like the acreage on the other side of our property.
Wrong.
Employing everything from the hose, a variety of brooms, to wildly slung rope halters while imitating a lunatic - every time I found them on the property I did my best to let them think this is a very scary place to be. Only one problem; they don’t care! The reaction each time was exactly the same - first, they stared at me coming toward them. Then, as I got ridiculously close to them with whatever object chosen “this” time with which to instill the fear of God in them…they’d begin to maybe…actually move. If I kept advancing on them? IF, I was lucky, they’d break into (pardon the expression, but I now know where it came from) a trot.
But then they’d scatter, in what I’ve determined is not a strategic tactic on their part, but simply a way of continuing for as long as possible to do ANYTHING - except have to fly. Because not only are they dumb? But they’re also apparently incredibly lazy. They’re BIRDS for crying out loud; and they evidently would prefer to do just about anything other than take flight.
The only thing I realized I had going for me was that they’re somewhat herd bound; and when one slightly brighter crayon in the turkey box finally decides that maybe it IS time to get out of Dodge and takes wing - the rest will finally follow and settle in the field on the other side of our no-climb fence; going back to pecking in the dry grass over there immediately, as if absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
I suppose I could take that as a zen-like lesson about living in the now?
But I digress…………….
So…….just about every morning for the past two weeks (you can see how effective I’ve been), I go out to feed the horses and find the gang on the lawn. Each time - I go into my lunatic imitation. And each time - I get the same result. Until this morning, which is what prompted my sitting down to share this story.
This morning, for whatever reason, the slightly brighter turkey in the box…not so brightly decided for the first time to fly over the pasture fence ~ and in with the horses. His gang followed.
Now one of my Quarter Horses is a character. A mare named Lucy, she has an abundance of frustrated, under-utilized cow-horse tendencies. She took one look at these birds in her pasture, and instinct kicked in.
Oh where is the video camera when you need it?
I am unfortunately reduced to trying to express the ensuing hysterical result in sadly inadequate - words. Please use your imagination, and try to picture this horse going after this flock of turkeys as if they were a herd of cows. Head in the classic cowhorse “down and rooting” position; ears pinned; her body wound and ready - she sprung into action and went after them. The birds? Well THIS, seemed to finally be the key to survival instinct kicking in; I have never seen them move - and fly - so fast.
So if they’re dumb enough (and I suspect…sigh…that they are), to be back tomorrow morning?
I love my chiropractor, he really found the right calling for himself.
Take care of yourself until then. The few times I’ve suffered from them, the only thing I could do was go to sleep (benadryl helps that) in a dark room and find the cool part of the pillow.
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thanks be to jane.
hi jane!
Yeah! Thanks for reminding me to find the CD before we leave for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s a great tradition!
I have not heard this song in quite some time.
Proud to be a DFH!
One of my all time faves-
Epic monologue of a song. Accompanied me in my teen years. Don’t forget folks, the municipal dump is closed today.
Thank you so much Jane.
Hope springs eternal…
Bush Death Watch: Countdown!
It is long past time to take out the garbage…
Oh I love this.
G’day and Happy Thanksgiving.
Hi TB. The picture (of Aussie Thanksgiving dinner) was thwarted by the hordes, but it was success anyway.
Hope everyone has a great day.
I recall when this song came out. Great stuff. I still refer to the Group W Bench, but the younger folks have no idea what I’m talking about.
Federal investigators are bearing down on Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson for setting up his buddies with contracts and then telling Congress that he didn’t “touch contracts.”
Yes. Yes we are. :D
Thanks, Jane!
I am a bit too young for this one.
TexBetsy @ 15
Heathen.
A long time lurker who pops in occasionally ~ thought on this day of Thanksgiving, I’d post my holiday “story” sent out to friends and family. Hoping it brings a smile as a small token of thanks for all the sanity in a world seeming to go insane - and the all important humor/snark that everyone here at FDL offers me daily. Happy Thanksgiving all!
A TURKEY TALE
No wonder they are the traditional Holiday bird of choice. Granted ~ I know most of us don’t go out and bag a wild one for our Thanksgiving table, and Foster Farms and Norbest aren’t providing us with the wild variety in the grocery store. But after my recent experiences with a flock of these ding-bats that have invaded our place, it’s no wonder to me that they’ve been an easy source of sustenance in the wild for humans going back to the Native Americans and the Mayflower days.
Simply stated ~ they are dumber than dirt.
A flock of 20 has recently decided our 5 1/2 acres is the turkey equivalent of a fine resort. In the past, I’ve had encounters with them on narrow rural roads that gave me my first inkling that they might not be operating with a full deck. You know it’s bad when after honking your horn repeatedly and trying to run them over, they STILL won’t move, getting the hint only when you get out of the car and start screaming at them like a banshee. Does the concept of “predator” just not compute with these birds? Evidently not.
The first time they made their presence known here was one balmy fall afternoon on our expansive front lawn. My first reaction was an admittedly naive, “aww, what a picture.” The flock was on the bright green lawn; there was a crisp blue sky and the visual accent of fall colored maple trees; a white picket fence in the background, the horses watching them from over the railing. I had a few moments of mother nature appreciative love and wonder at the idyllic scene in front of me - “what a great Thanksgiving Card this would make” thought I. That reverie lasted as long as it took the spouse to discover that they’d poked huge holes in the drip line, and began to verbally express his displeasure in ways that I won’t share in the interest of not offending my readers.
Now being a horseperson and somewhat understanding of the ways and mindset of prey animals, I figured the best way to discourage these creatures from making a permanent home out of our Casa, was to make the “right thing easy, and the wrong thing difficult”; make them think this wasn’t a safe place to be. Forgetting the lack of intelligence factor I was dealing with, I decided that if I made a point of scaring the holy hell out of them each time I caught them on the property somewhere, they’d quickly make the connection that there were calmer and safer places to hang out - like the acreage on the other side of our property.
Wrong.
Employing everything from the hose, a variety of brooms, to wildly slung rope halters while imitating a lunatic - every time I found them on the property I did my best to let them think this is a very scary place to be. Only one problem; they don’t care! The reaction each time was exactly the same - first, they stared at me coming toward them. Then, as I got ridiculously close to them with whatever object chosen “this” time with which to instill the fear of God in them…they’d begin to maybe…actually move. If I kept advancing on them? IF, I was lucky, they’d break into (pardon the expression, but I now know where it came from) a trot.
But then they’d scatter, in what I’ve determined is not a strategic tactic on their part, but simply a way of continuing for as long as possible to do ANYTHING - except have to fly. Because not only are they dumb? But they’re also apparently incredibly lazy. They’re BIRDS for crying out loud; and they evidently would prefer to do just about anything other than take flight.
The only thing I realized I had going for me was that they’re somewhat herd bound; and when one slightly brighter crayon in the turkey box finally decides that maybe it IS time to get out of Dodge and takes wing - the rest will finally follow and settle in the field on the other side of our no-climb fence; going back to pecking in the dry grass over there immediately, as if absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
I suppose I could take that as a zen-like lesson about living in the now?
But I digress…………….
So…….just about every morning for the past two weeks (you can see how effective I’ve been), I go out to feed the horses and find the gang on the lawn. Each time - I go into my lunatic imitation. And each time - I get the same result. Until this morning, which is what prompted my sitting down to share this story.
This morning, for whatever reason, the slightly brighter turkey in the box…not so brightly decided for the first time to fly over the pasture fence ~ and in with the horses. His gang followed.
Now one of my Quarter Horses is a character. A mare named Lucy, she has an abundance of frustrated, under-utilized cow-horse tendencies. She took one look at these birds in her pasture, and instinct kicked in.
Oh where is the video camera when you need it?
I am unfortunately reduced to trying to express the ensuing hysterical result in sadly inadequate - words. Please use your imagination, and try to picture this horse going after this flock of turkeys as if they were a herd of cows. Head in the classic cowhorse “down and rooting” position; ears pinned; her body wound and ready - she sprung into action and went after them. The birds? Well THIS, seemed to finally be the key to survival instinct kicking in; I have never seen them move - and fly - so fast.
So if they’re dumb enough (and I suspect…sigh…that they are), to be back tomorrow morning?
I think I’m gonna sic my horse on em’ ……
Bets
Yeah ya kinda had ta be there I guess.
TexBetsy @ 15
:P
Jane!
TexBetsy @ 15
Heh, At least I was born before it was released… ;-)
Horsewoman, VERY funny. Thanks!
What year CT?
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jay Cam @ 23
And to you!
Horsewoman, I think Lucy would take care of ‘em again, should they make another appearance… 8-)
it’s a movement!
Lots of news stories and blog posts up at both my places. Second one updates every 3-4 hours or so.
TexBetsy @ 22
‘66!
CTuttle @ 28
Depending on the month it was released, I might have been alive then too.
Dear Horsewoman,maybe,just maybe you have hit apon the intellectual and philisophical base of the current regime.in which case the tactics of the horse should be carefully studied and emulated as soon as possible.
you can get anything you want
at Alices restaurant
excepting Alice.
OT to NorskeFlamethrower - left you an epu’ed reply in the previous post - the ftaa protests did succeed (even in the face of repression).
TexBetsy @ 29
I thought you meant my birth year, I’m pretty sure Alice’s Restaurant was released in ‘68…
Just about ready to walk out the door, but I had to stop and listen and say thank you for this! An outstanding, excellent treat for Thanksgiving Day! I already heard it at 8:00 AM on KSLX (they play it four times every Thanksgiving Day, it’s a tradition) but I love to listen to it more than once on turkey day.
selise @ 31
You were there, weren’t ya? Happy Thanksgiving… 8-)
From what I read, the event happened in 65, song was debuted in 66, was released on Arlo’s first album in 67. The film was released in 69.
Quebecois @ 35
Mahalo!
May @ 30 ~ I have to admit the connection between our current so-called inept leader and the backsides of my equines has not gone un-noticed … so your suggestion that I now look at the entire administration as a bunch of turkeys ~ isn’t a huge mental leap for me :-)
You’re all babies, relatively speaking. My SON was born in 1966!
Happy day everyone, and thanks for FDL!
Horsewoman @ 37
Heh, Sic Lucy on ‘em, I’d heard Shrub is scared of horses… ;-)
drat,my spelling has gone to pack.
philosophical!
For dog lovers, but especially for cat lovers, Happy Thanksgiving!
Quebecois @ 35
Seems about right but have been drinking ta forget
an …
forgot. ;-}
cute ET
CTuttle @ 34
yes and i don’t want to let anyone forget that we don’t have an ftaa today (with i consider a very good thing).
happy thanksgiving to you too!
Love this “song”
It had just come out when I got my notice to report to a draft physical. My girlfriend at the time wanted to do something special to make me feel better about the experience. So the night before the physical, she made me a wonderful meal and then played this new record I had not heard called Alice’s Restaurant. We made love all night so I was in the appropriate (exhausted) frame of mind for the draft “physicians.”
It is hard for me not to just break out grinning whenever I hear it. Reminds me of how much encouragement we who were organizing protests of the Vietnam War got from loved ones. Thanks for the post.
Proud, proud, oh so damn Arlo Guthrie proud to be, yes, in 8×10 glossy color photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back,
a D***Y F*****G H****E!!!!!
petedownunder @ 12
Most people refer to the 27 8*10 color glossies. For those of you too young to remember, this is what we mean about protest. There were all forms of protest then, and protesters had lots of company. About now it might also be a good time to remember the four dead in Ohio. These events changed our lives and our society, but the patriotism that was the inspiration needs to be reawakened, or we will surely be living in a fascist state with a dictator in charge.
Afternoon, ET!
That’s a mighty slab you have there.
In past years, we snacked on Dungeness Crab in the mornings while watching football and awaiting the turkey and trimmings. But thanks to a “little” fuel oil spill in the SF Bay, that’s not an option this year. But Alaskans need not be reminded of that circumstance.
Happy Thanksgiving up there!
Ann in AZ @ 47
I particularly liked the burning of the bras… ;-)
CTuttle @ 49
Petro? Is that you?
My son’s extremely sick sense of humor.
TexBetsy @ 51
That’s definitely a ‘Big Bird’…
CTuttle @ 36
Excuse my ignorance, mahalo is foreign to me???
Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks be to FDL for everything you have accomplished, and pushed us to accomplish, in these dark years.
Horsewoman, my dog gets our local wild flock to fly :) Unfortunately, the lonely single neigbhor feeds them (and every other animal) so they spend a lot of time here. As do the skunks, coons, deer, squirrels, and the occasional black bear.
mahalo = thank you in Hawaiian.
Merci!
mrbrat just poked his head outta da kitchen and asked if I was going to be playing Arlo all afternoon - his pained expression cracked me up. Dear man was born just a mere decade too late to completely appreciate DFH musical taste. ;~)
Quebecois @ 53
Because it is, Hawaiian for thank you! 8-)
Random turkey facts
http://www.gentlethanksgiving......urkeys.pdf
Hey, Betsy:
Tenafly 28, Dumont 7 :-)
Ridgewood 29, Paramus 27 :-) :-)
Excellent Burns!
burnspbesq @ 60
HS football today? Happy T-day, Burns!
I saw the movie in Chicago a few months after release after going up there for a physical for Annapolis. Just another step on the road to my DFH status.
CTuttle @ 62
Oh yeah, we grew up with HS football for lunch and Thanksgiving feast for dinner.
Damn the turkey is smelling awesome! Guests are just arriving. We always do a big dinner for those other families, like ours, whose extended family is far away. Today it’s a party of 15. Got our 25 lb. free-range all-natural turkey, stuffed (with a traditional stuffing), a to-die-for “dressing” made of cornbread, mushrooms, leeks, and gorgonzola, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, tequila yam. That’s without discussing the appetizers or the desserts including my wife’s incredible apple pie, or the free-flowing spirits.
Before the meal we have everyone write down 3 things they are thankful for and put them in a hat. At the table we take turns picking, reading, and guessing who wrote what. After dinner we draw for tasks, this is an equal opportunity household. Later, when the triptofan wears off, we usually play some games, maybe let the kids watch a movie.
Next year we will be in France for the year, so I anticipate a very different sort of Thanksgiving.
newspaperbrat @ 57
Hello, npb-
Monterey Bay must be beautiful today…
Happy TurkeyDay!
CTuttle @ 62
In New Jersey, there weren’t state playoffs until the mid-1980s. Thanksgiving Day was the traditional end of the season, and a lot of traditional rivalry games are still played on Turkey Day.
Thanks Jane
jo6pac
And what better reason could there be to hit Pause on the iPod feeding Karen Armstrong’s Buddha into my head while I’m cooking away here in the kitchen and give Arlo a listen.
Thanks, Jane! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Another bunch to be thankful for: Arlo, Woody, Alice, Jane, and all the firedog lakers. Thanks for streaming this.
Turkeys are not stupid. Here’s some evidence:
Also, turkey eyesight is awesome. That makes turkey hunting season the most dangerous of all; since hunters must wear camoflage, they sometimes end up shooting each other.
The biggest flock of wild turkeys I’ve seen on my country place probably numbered over 50. A remarkable sight.
eCAHNomics @ 71
What you’re saying is, we can teach them to clear brush?
eCAHNomics @ 71
IIRC, Ben Franklin proposed the wild turkey as the national symbol for its intelligence cuz the eagle is a scavenger.
newtonusr @ 72
Or to beat the Dumont Huskies on Thanksgiving day.
newtonusr @ 72
Even better. We can teach them to do it without invading Iraq.
eCAHN, Ben Franklin wanted to have the Turkey as the national bird…
newtonusr@72
Hey, I resemble that. It’s the one thiing I have in common with W.
Across the street from our house in the elementary school playing field, the traditional Thanksgiving Day pickup soccer game is in full swing. Mexican immigrants vs. Salvadoran immigrants. No gabachos need apply.
Everybody gives thanks in their own unique way.
What is DFH?
Jane Hamsher, this post was perfect. Thanks!
Dakine, hey, bra, I owe ya a coke…
dakine01@73
I think I saw that as I was googling around for turkey facts, but didn’t pause to communicate it.
Dirty Fucking Hippie!
Millineryman @ 78
You’re kidding right?
DFH = Dirty F*ckin’ Hippies!
rat bastahd @ 83
Thanks
OK…how about they’re “stubborn”? :-)
There is more than a little tongue in cheek to that story; I have a very deep respect for mother nature. I live up outside Redding in NorCal and there are MORE than enough hunters up here that would love to take care of my “invasion” and there’s no way they get even NEAR our Ranch ~ my horses’ “encouraging” them to fly, yes. Using them for sport? Not me…..
dakine01 @ 84
That just escaped me. I have the start of what could be a migraine, soo my mind is a little numb.
Mukei @ 69
Mukei! So good to hear from you again. Gassho — mokaha
Bejamin Franklinn & turkeys
http://www.greatseal.com/symbols/turkey.html
Millineryman @ 87
Ah, then whatever comfort food or meds work best for you and stat!
Millineryman @ 87
I hadn’t figured it out either. I had “Dog” and “Fire” and was trying to figure out the “H.” Heathen? Human? Hogwarts?
I gave up. At least someone asked :)
eCAHN, this vegetarian lover of all creatures great and small (except a small but toxic portion of the human species) thanks you for your defense of a helpless and maligned creature. They have a rather interesting social structure, and their plumage is a glory of iridescence. A pair of males in full strut is a delight to behold.
dakine01
A chiropractor will do the trick actually which will have to wait until tomorrow.
Millineryman @ 93
My chiro is the best ever!
Delectable Francophone Hippy?;-)
TexBetsy @ 94
I love my chiropractor, he really found the right calling for himself.
Hypatia @ 92
I actually love the wild ones. I see a lot of them and I’ve picked up many of those beutiful tail feathers. I have a somewhat anthropomorphic attitude about the turkeys, deer, and coyotes on my place.
However, that does not stop me from allowing hunting & partaking in the results. There’s a reason why we’re at the top of the food chain.
newtonusr @ 66
Hey newtonusr! We are having a spectacular clear blue skies and blessed sunshine after a much needed rain showers early in the week.
What cha doing for dinner today - still plenty of time to head down the coast if you’d like to join us - Sahra and her family are spending the day in the City and dropping by for dessert early evening en route home. ;~)
neokneme @ 9
In other words, the coup has to be announced within the next twelve months if it’s going to happen at all.
Horsewoman @ 17
Too funny! Thanks, Horsewoman. :0)
JulieWaters @ 91
I commend you for attempting to figure it out.
Millineryman @ 96
Take care of yourself until then. The few times I’ve suffered from them, the only thing I could do was go to sleep (benadryl helps that) in a dark room and find the cool part of the pillow.