I know that there are many of you out there who think that the Dove Soap Campaign for Real Beauty, which ostensibly aims to encourage women to re-think the images of "beauty" is, well, kind of a contradiction in terms. After all, here's a massive corporation trying to sell you beauty products while simultaneously insisting that massive corporations have absolutely no business telling women how they should look and feel. And those nay-sayers would have a point, I guess.
And yet, when I watch their advertisements (the latest, "Onslaught", via Jezebel, is posted above and you can watch the earlier one, "Evolution", here), the message is so right-on. "Talk to your daughter," reads the ad copy, "before the beauty industry does."
I can't imagine what it must be like to raise a daughter in this media climate. I just can't.
I like J. K. Rowling's take on it, by the way.
Waif-like models were condemned by JK Rowling yesterday as "empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones".
The author of the Harry Potter novels said she did not want her daughters, Mackenzie, one, and Jessica, 12, to emulate women whose only function was to support the trade in "over-priced handbags and rat-sized dogs".
Oh! Ouch!
You know, if those books she writes don't pan out for her, I think Ms. Rowling could have quite a bright future as a blogger. That's some weapons-grade snark, right there.
What else does she have to say?
Writing on her website, she revealed that her "rant" was prompted by photographs in a magazine of a very young woman "who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder".
She added: "She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story.
"This girl needs help but, the world being what it is, they're sticking her on magazine covers instead."
I don't think I need to run this down for you guys. You know the deal. The world of fashion and fashion publishing (and the movie industry, and TV, and music videos, and on and on) present an ideal of "beauty" that is an image of sickness, of starvation.
It's disgusting, really. People all over the planet don't get enough to eat and yet our culture endlessly rewards women like Posh Spice, with her plastic doll body and glassy-eyed, "Please Feed Me" expression. Why would anyone want to emulate that? "Mommy, when I grow up, I want to have comically huge double-D breasts, an 18-inch waist, and a face like an angry monkey!" Mmmmm, what could be more sexy than skin like paper, lifeless hair, limbs like sticks, and bones that jut out of all kinds of places where bones aren't exactly supposed to jut? (Not to mention things like a crumbling skeleton and organ failure.)
But back to Rowling:
She recounted a conversation with a young actor on the set of the latest Potter film, who was talking about a girl who was called "fat" by classmates, although she was anything but. The author added: "… is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'."
In other words, is being "fat" worse than being Ann Coulter?
Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny?
Or the pressure to write incredibly shitty books that no one actually reads, which will apparently not just give you the body of a stick insect, but makes you mean as hell. And kind of a psycho.
But that's another story altogether. You were saying, Ms. Rowling?
"Maybe all this seems funny, or trivial, but it's really not," Miss Rowling wrote on her website, jkrowling.com.
"It's about what girls want to be, what they're told they should be, and how they feel about who they are.
"I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny a thousand things, before 'thin'."
Yay!!
If I had a daughter, I would tell her something along those lines every day, I think, "I love you just the way you are. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You don't need diets, pills, miracle creams, injections, or surgery or any of that bulls*%t to be beautiful. You are perfect and I will always love you no matter what. Now kiss me and then finish your collard greens."
Period. End of story.
What do you guys think?
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TREX!!!
uno! dos! tres!
BOO!
beautiful cassie!
TRex!!!
Hiya!
drat!
SnarKassandra @ 4
YES! YES! YES! YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, SWEETEST!
evening TRex - i raised my girls to know that true beauty is that which is found within - not the external.
Trex! How’s Tricks?
i just wanna be me, and thin enough to not be fat and sick.
my mom got super thin a year or two after she started drugs and it looks ugly. she was way prettier before that.
TRex, you’re always surpassing yourself. This one I’m emailing upstairs to my own daughter, right now.
Thanks.
james, thanks for letting downstairs know
SnarKassandra @ 4
That’s the spirit!!
hiya suzanne.!
Well, if you’d just settle down with some nice young man and start a family…
;>)
Excellent! Raising girls in this thin-obcessed age seems a nightmare to me. If I hear one more regular sized person refered to as “plus-sized” I will scream! Marilyn Monroe was at least a size 12. She’d never make it today.
The plastic surgery industry is going gangbusters these days.
It is not just about being thin. It is also about being young.
It is hard to age in this culture.
i once heard a minister say that people look best when they are smiling and when they are thinking, not when they are trying to look pretty.
SnarKassandra @ 19
Smart minister. That fits my experience.
NP, Suzanne
Fee fi fo fuhm
I smell the blood of a therapod-um
(well, to be precise, I smelled it last thread, when the clock struck 11 and the refresh circle started spinning)
Suzanne @ 9
Bonne Soir, Ma Cheri, My eldest daughter was tomboyish and actively into sports so I never had to worry, however, my other daughter is a whole ‘nother ball park, she’s girlie-girl and always frets over her appearance! My wife and I are constantly reassuring her she looks fine…!!! *g*
Is it just me, or can one imagine a Congressional resolution condemning J.K. Rowling?
madmommy, marilyn monroe was a full figured size 14 - a size most women today would not admit to being.
EvilDrPuma @ 24
I think she’s great. And I like how Hermione and Ginny and Cho do just as much impressive magic and life-saving as the boys in the books.
EvilDrPuma @ 24
I think hearings should be conducted first.
It’s not just the girls who need a good self-image. Boys must be raised to appreciate girls’ niceness in addition to their bodies.
CTuttle @ 23
Have you seen the Nike “I am an athlete” ads? Numerous female athletes in various sports step up to a giant megaphone and proclaim their girl power.
Funny, I’ve been waiting for a propicious moment to share this.
I have a jar of Noxema deep cleaning stuff in my bathroom. The tag line on the jar reads the same as it did in the 50’s: Make him think that glow is because of him!
Seriously.
But, I still use the product because I like how it works. When I first bought it, I would let that line bother me, being the feminist that I have worked my whole life to be.
Now, I see the tag on the jar and just laugh!
Suzanne @ 25
I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for eating crackers…!!! ;-)
SnarKassandra @ 26
I’ll admit that I have very little exposure to the Harry Potter books, but Rowling shouldn’t take that as a negative. I just end up with so little reading-for-fun time.
Nicely done, TRex. Very nicely done.
I think this is what Fran was alluding to last night, and s/he had a point. Unfortunately, s/he came across as sounding humorless.
I saw an anorexic teenager at the Safeway the other day, and I wanted to cry for her. She was wandering aimlessly around the marked for 15 minutes that I observed. Finally she checked out with a tiny carton of non-fat cottage cheese. It was soooooo sad. Who knows what demons torture her.
There are you-tubes that anorexic girls go to which encourages them. It is on the cusp between freedom of expression and complicity in self-homicide. There are also back-lash vids that present the truth of these seriously sick young women.
Suzanne @ 25
Hot damn, so am I!
Great post, TRex.
Right now, I’m trying to imagine JK Rowling talking with Arianna “On Becoming Fearless” Huffington on helping young girls to grow into fearless women. If they ever got together to write something like that, it would blow away the teen mags in a minute.
[For those who missed it, just over a year ago, Arianna did one of the early FDL Book Salons, which a two week deal at the beginning. Week one was an intro to the subject of the book (w/o the author), and week two was a chat with the author. Powerful stuff!]
Suzanne @ 25
Suzanne, aside from marketing, I believe Marilyn Monroe to be the ultimate example of attitude over looks. Marilyn, on pure looks, was very average, but was transformed into a Goddess by that attitude.
JMHO.
Suzanne @ 25
but haven’t they messed with the sizes since then? So that a 14 in Marilyn’s day would be like an 8 now? I’ve heard that, dunno if it’s true.
Anyway……I am REALLY liking the anti-skinny trend y’all have got going on this thread……please, don’t let me interrupt…!
I have a 14 year old daughter who spends most of her time with her mom. She is a beautiful, energetic girl who rides horses like a champ, plays the piano wonderfully, and is excited about everything.
Her mom is an overachiever, a woman who is a classically trained pianist, a chocolate junkie who’s continually on a diet which, of course, never works, and someone who is very critical of just about everyone around her and vocal about it. Maybe it’s the cop in her (no offense to present company).
My daughter was until this summer not worried about anything; we’d go for ice cream, we’d sit around and eat junk food while watching Alf dvds and Dr, Zhivago with Kiera Knightly. Now all of a sudden she’s concerned with how much weight she’s gaining….and she hasn’t gained anything except 2 ppounds since last September (06).
Now I have to worry that she’s gonna get bitten by the eating disorder bug and I’m concerned. I try having her watch shows about models so she can see how grossly skinny these women are and how beautiful she is by showing by showing her paintings by Botticelli and Raphael so she can see how beautiful a normal woman can be.
CTuttle @ 31
Ummm…I guess I would. You know what they say…a dead girl or a live boy.
Skinny is OK. But so is regular and so is heavy. But too fat messes with your heart and stuff.
oddmommy, the smaller sizes got their numbers made smaller - 10’s became 8’s… to help build the ego trade.
that is not what happened with the larger sizes in my experience.
Laura Doty @ 12
Awwwwwww.
Thanks. And love to your beautiful daughter.
oddmommy @ 37
Let’s face it, once you’ve had a couple of kids you are never gonna have that teenage body again. You may get down to pre-pregnancy weight but you are just shaped differently. Better to embrace what we are uniquely able to do that to fret about the way we used to look. That’s what I tell myself, anyway!
Maybe in England. In Texas lots of Hispanic girls are fat. And pretty. And popular. It isn’t the same as it is with white girls.
OT but a sad passing:
TRex @ 42
; )
No, no, people! Don’t do it! Don’t raise your daughters with self esteem! We avoided imposing body image expectations on her, and now we can’t stop her! She’s doing all sorts of crazy things - starting clubs in high school, getting great grades, and creating immense amounts of art! She isn’t interested in fashion or makeup, and nobody seems to be able to shame or guilt her into anything! God help us, we’ve created A DAUGHTER!
Gotta go. But for the record, they call me Big Mitch because of generosity of spirit, as in the expression, “That’s mighty big of you, Mitch.”
Dinner is being served. See you all later.
EvilDrPuma @ 24
They’re trying that down here in Lower Dumbfuckistan.
the smaller sizes got their numbers made smaller to help build the ego trade.
Oh, Ms.D is just going to love to hear this.
Her mom is an overachiever, a woman who is a classically trained pianist, a chocolate junkie who’s continually on a diet which, of course, never works, and someone who is very critical of just about everyone around her and vocal about it. Maybe it’s the cop in her (no offense to present company)
none taken :)
your ex is setting a bad example with her poor eating habits and the peer pressure kids have now to be ‘perfect’ is terrible. makes me glad i’m not a kid and my girls are now grown up and better equipped to deal with that pressure from society.
It’s all the madness of marketing and finding ways to make money on females.
What an enormous waste of energy and talent and time and resources… the whole beauty and fashion industry. it’s an embarrassment really for an advanced society to be so wasteful, decadent and self absorbed. Really fucked up priorities.
You hardly even see any real hair colors these days either. And whats with tattoos? They are just like graffiti on buildings. They may be interesting but they don’t belong where they end up.
What a plastic artificial culture of copy cats.
Sad.. really sad.
TRex @ 49
What a shame that anybody has time to waste on a “cause” like that.
Evening all. As burns said last night, the thing that really makes women sexy is what is between their ears. As to the Paris Hiltons and Brittanys of the world, sorry but I don’t do domestic livestock.
Aunt Betsy eats sweets but she also eats vegetables and fruits and makes skinless chicken and stuff. And her answer to “Can I have a snack” is always “cucumber or carrots?”. Sweets are for dessert.
SnarKassandra @ 44
For whatever reason, white women seem to have much bigger issues with weight than Hispanic or African American women. Other cultures seem to celebrate the natural curves we are supposed to have much better than white girls do, generally speaking.
DrDick @ 54
And DrDick comes out breathing fire!
Hi Doc.
TRex @ 49
Isn’t she a day late and a dollar short? Does she know that the series is over? Dear Lord, save us from the loonies who take your name in vain.
For the thin body type I just hope I live long enough to see a return of the bias cut full length silk velvet dress.
DrDick @ 54
Again, that’s my experience. I have had some serious crushes on “plain” women who were intelligent and expressed themselves well. And never did have much time for plastic bleached-blondes who always end up looking the same to me.
My 24 year old daughter came home from high school some years ago and told me that the kids the marching band were talking about Looks. Something someone said prompted her to say My mom says I’m pretty.
Here’s a picture of her: here.She has nice enough features and all, but what makes her attractive is her confidence and pleasant outlook.
(okay, i’m biased.)
But, I think we teach our daughters by example as much as by talking to them.
Eureka Springs @ 59
Do you wear dresses?
TRex @ 49
Speaking of…this is Banned Book Week.
SanderO @ 52
I’m not giving up my Miss Clairol! No to plastic surgery and crash diets, but don’t take my hair color!!!
oddmommy @ 37
Depends entirely on how much you spend. The more expensive the label, the smaller the size.
Demi she is pretty!
Lea (no uh) @ 63
“It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them!”
–Professor Henry Jones, Sr.
Right On Trex!
I’m pleased my daughter introduced me to Laila Ali as a role model (before she took up dancing) - and she’s sure no stick thin clone:
Laila Ali!
Lea (no uh) @ 63
Our school does it next week because this week is the six week tests.
Gonna run.
Early doctor’s appt in the morning.
See y’all in a couple of nights.
SnarKassandra @ 62
Only once and it was a full length beaded Bob Mackey..) (probably a $10k dress at the time)
SnarKassandra @ 69
What fuckery.
EvilDrPuma @ 72
Huh???
madmommy @ 43
SnarKassandra @ 73
The tests, that is. Not you.
Too bad we can’t have Banned Test Year.
Night James. Fly well wherever you fly.
I have to admit I love ballet and these women don’t have an ounce of fat on them… but neither do most athletes. You can’t do ballet with a lot of weight to move around. And their beauty seems natural and not plastic the way pop stars, celebrities and A listers look.
Lea (no uh) @ 76
I vote for that one!!!
Good night James
RonD @ 77
More importantly, land well wherever you land.
DrDick @ 74
Hell, that means I’m on the downhill slide, then ;0)
OOOh Eureka! I bet you looked stunning!
damn
(bias cut velvet is a gift from god)
We used to call that a quiz.
can we ban boosh and take a week to celebrate?
I am so glad this topic is coming of age, so to speak. I was beginning to feel as if I was going to be the last female in the western world to not spend thousands of dollars trying to convince others I’m younger than I actually am.
As far as young girls are concerned, it doesn’t matter what values we as parents may hold re the natural aging process. Our girls live in this culture. They see what’s going on around them. Lots of luck to any parent out there who thinks she can override this societal brainwashing that you won’t be a human being worth being around if you don’t remake your physical self into some kind of unattainable ideal.
SnarKassandra @ 66
Why, thanks.
In 11th grade, she tried out to be Drum Major. And she was so good. She practiced a lot, could do all the fancy stuff with the mace. And she could bark out the orders like any guy there. That was right before all the bands got female drum majors. She missed by two points.
SnarKassandra @ 44
You see that in a lot of minority cultures here in the US. There are a number of cultures in Africa where fat is beautiful. Much of what any culture considers beautiful is the look of prosperity.
Wow, Albatross, you sure have a talented daughter!
TRex, thanks for this.
Every generation, or every few generations seem to “decide” that there is a certain outward form of the “ideal” woman. And, that ideal is pushed relentlessly. And, somehow, the new “ideal” seems to be completely different from the old “ideal”. Uh, why is that?
It is really pernicious.
I suffered from not having the “ideal” form, back in the MM days. I would have fit in now, without even trying. Great.
Eating disorders now are, as I have learned by talking to female undergraduates, more common than I previously thought. To a degree that shocked me.
I know that men also are subject to certain pressures (based on reading my usual spam) but for women, it is much more pervasive, and much more subtle, and the “correct” type for females is much more arbitrary than it has ever been for me. edit: for MEN! fwiw.
SanderO @ 78
There’s a difference between no body fat and anorexia nervosa. I’m sure some ballerinas don’t realize that, but it’s by no means a given.
Hooray for big girls!
You can hear a letter I wrote to NPR on this topic being read aloud here.
Evening TRex -
Forgive the OT
Burma update as of 4 hours ago. Oct. 2
http://www.onlineopinion.com.a.....ticle=6452
(something I didn’t know about the Orwell Burma connection)
http://hrw.org/english/docs/20.....a16995.htm
(Human Rights Watch campaign of pressure)
http://burmamyanmargenocide.bl.....900am.html
(up to the minute blogs from Burma)
Colbert coming up with Charlie Savage.
Suzanne @ 85
Good idea! When should we celebrate Banned Bush Week?
TRex @ 49
God love the fundies, cause the rest of us just think they are a pain in the ass.
a mackey? es got to wear a mackey? THAT is just so so unfair dayamitall.
DrDick @ 96
I suspect they’re trying God’s patience, too.
what’s a mackey?
Suzanne @ 85
I know.
They took Britney’s kids away, but we’re still stuck here in the house with Crazy Uncle Dubya.
Please help us!