There's a new type of closet for LGBT folks. This became a ticklish issue for the media with the death of mogul and game show producer Merv Griffin last week at 82. Pam Spaulding calls Merv openly closeted, an identity with which I was previously unfamiliar. And one I'm not sure should be perpetuated.
The controversy ("is Merv gay now that he's dead?") started when the Grey Lady broached the subject in Merv's obit:
But he was also dogged by sex scandals and insinuations that he was gay. In 1991, he was sued by Denny Terrio, the host of “Dance Fever,” another show Mr. Griffin created, alleging sexual harassment. The same year, Brent Plott, a longtime employee who worked as a bodyguard, horse trainer and driver, filed a $200 million palimony lawsuit. Mr. Griffin characterized both lawsuits as extortion; ultimately, both suits were dismissed.Mr. Griffin consistently evaded answering questions about his sexuality. In a 2005 interview with The New York Times, he said: “I tell everybody that I’m a quartre-sexual. I will do anything with anybody for a quarter.”
Ha, ha.
But not all media outlets were so clever in their assessment of Merv's closet.
It started innocently enough with a story about late entertainer/talk show host Merv Griffin, who died this week, at The Hollywood Reporter's web site. Its opening line: "Merv Griffin was gay."Then things got really interesting. The Reporter pulled the story -- by regular Ray Richmond, who once worked for Merv -- for awhile, then re-posted it under the heading, "Griffin never revealed man behind the curtain." What next? Reuters picked it up in its normal entertainment feed and then, after protests (presumably), it pulled the story, with this explanation: "This was a story from The Hollywood Reporter that ran as part of a Reuters news feed. We have dropped the story from our entertainment news feed as it did not meet our standards for news. GBU Editor."
Yahoo had run the story by this point with the headline, "Merv Griffin Died a Closeted Homosexual." That's pretty matter-of-fact. Why expect the world to become a more tolerant place just because you're older and worth billions? Why not stay in the closet, or at a minimum, openly closeted? Who wouldn't want to squire a Gabor sister around Hollywood? What's the harm?
If you're Griffin, why would you think a judgmental culture would be any more tolerant as you grew into middle and old age? Even in the capital of entertainment -- in a business where homosexuality isn't exactly a rare phenomenon -- it's still spoken of in hushed tones or, more often, not at all. And Merv's brush with tabloid scandal no doubt only drove him further into the closet.
Michaelangelo Signorile starts with the big picture: this was one extremely well-connected mogul, with the capability to influence truly powerful people and (maybe) save lives.
First off, Griffin's closet kept him shockingly silent while he had access to the president of the United States as his own people were dying. This man was intimate with the Reagans (and Nancy Reagan in particular) during the height of the AIDS epidemic in 80s, with few treatments available and fear-mongering having gripped the media. Griffin's gay brothers -- his friends, his lovers, his people across America, around the world -- suffered and met horrific deaths. And yet, because he was closeted it is highly unlikely he ever made the connection for the Reagans (between himself and those who were suffering and dying), pointed out the government negligence, or even talked openly as a gay person. ... He also stayed silent about the epidemic in the media -- ironic since he was a man very much at the center of the media industry and in shaping communications and television in this country -- when his voice would have made a huge difference.
Signorile then lets us know another dirty secret of the openly closeted. They use their workplace power to seek sex.
Secondly, Griffin's closet had him engaging in workplace sexual harassment, something that, as I showed in my 1993 book Queer in America, is common among closeted powerful men, who often are simply seeking outlets for sex. That was not only focused on in the Denny Terrio lawsuit against Griffin but also was something that several Hollywood gay men told me about, offering first hand experience, while I was researching Queer in America back in the early 90s and some of this (though, for legal reasons not all) is reported on in the book.
Lastly -- and this seems as sick as the first two twisted aspects of the open closet -- openly gay people were not permitted to succeed within the business worlds Merv Griffin created.
Griffin's closet had him firing gay men who'd actually made it up through the ranks of his own company, simply because they were openly gay. There is a story in Queer in America about a man identified as "The Mogul" who did just that. I can now reveal that The Mogul is Merv Griffin. Open homosexuality is a threat to the closeted, and powerful people in the closet like Merv Griffin will often do whatever it takes to squash those who are open and who might advocate that all among the powerful should come out.
The last certainly qualifies Merv for public outing under the hypocrisy rule. Any gay who hurts other gay people, or profits from their hurt, or politicizes their hurt, deserves outing.
Merv's decision to "stay" in his closet, with its louvered, transparent, revolving doors, was certainly his own. It was his power and money, though, that kept Hollywood media complicit, legitimizing the open closet as an American institution in the twenty-first century. Commenter MAJeff at Pandagon explains the social invention that is the closet, whether open or not:
The closet is a social institution, it is a set of social practices. The news media actively construct this institution through their “inning” of celebrities, as well as through the construction of certain types of narratives, and employment practices, etc., etc.The point is that the closet is not just an individual’s private life, as someone will inevitably argue. The closet is a set of social practices all based in the notion that homosexuality must be hidden in order to prop up heterosexual supremacy. The closet isn’t a right; it’s an oppressive institution that distorts the humanity and relationships of those forced to live in its confines.
The media needs to stop inning celebrities; outing is so twentieth-century. Our outrage needs to be directed at the inning. No more open closets! Closets, and the fictions that maintain them, kill.
Update: David Ehrenstein provides an insider's perspective on Mervgate!
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G’evening, firepups.
zed?
dayam
Hiya Teddy!!!
Hey everyone. Call me naive, but I really had no idea that Merv was gay.
newdealfarmgrrrlll @ 1
Congrats!!!
tee hee. Age & treachery win.
I don’t know why people need to stay in the closet. Just tell the ChristoStupids to mind their OWN business!
g’evening everyone - excellent points you raise, teddy
Latest Hurricane Dean info from NOAA.
My late aunt lived in NYC for almost 50 years. When I moved there in 1982 she would tell me about Merv and his “boys”. Hard to believe there’s any controversy here.
Hello, everypup!
There’s a point at which the open closet and the closeted world converge — people who know one is gay are responsible for maintaining the illusion one’s not. These people, interestingly enough, are “journalists.” Why is the fiction of the closet worthy of their efforts, while the fiction of the hospitalization for “exhaustion” is not?
At what point does truth matter? And why is the truth of being gay seem so worthy of muddying?
Top of the evening to all!
It looks as though not only Louisiana but Texas is going to miss getting a head-on clobbering by Dean. Huzzah!
Suzanne @ 9
Bon Soir, Ma Cheri!!! No Dive? ;-)
I have to wonder how much of the kerfuffle in the Hollywood press — which then went mainstream via Yahoo! — was to preserve Nancy Reagan’s delicate sensibilities.
Hi Cassie!
CTuttle @ 14
No dive - I think I found TJ’s headache.
TeddySanFran @ 15
Howzabout, Ahnuld’s??? *g*
Good evening from Tampa Bay, Suzanne!
Aw, sorry to hear that Suzanne
Was Denny Terrio not gay? Or was Denny gay and simply unappreciative of Merv’s lecherous advances? Or did Denny Terrio kick Merv to the curb (Merv as jilted lover) after Denny got what he wanted from Merv (Dance Fever - the show).
Today’s “journalists” are co-dependent enablers.
TeddySanFran @ 15
Excellent points are raised in this piece. I’ve often wondered at the hoohaa about Mrs. Reagan. It has always seemed to me that her head was much to large for the rest of her body.
It’s so distressing to me that people like Merv choose power & influence in a negative sense, i.e, only for personal gain rather than using that power to be a force for peace & justice for all.
TJ @ 20
I empathize with ya both…!!! :-(
Why does the closet exist? I think because it’s possible. Women have a hard time hiding their gender. African American people have a hard time hiding their skin color. But a person can hide their sexual preference.
newdealfarmgrrrlll @ 24
Well, Merv’s Pleasure Island Bahamas resort is nice! ;)
In addition to remaining kind of asexual here as TJ, I also have started using TJ on my resume instead of my first name.
The call I got this week asked for TJ. I replied that it was TJ speaking. The response was shock. Clearly, the interviewer was expecting a man.
TJ @ 26
Another may well be that until quite recently, most gay male sexual acts were illegal in many states, often felonies. That was of course overturned by the famous supreme court decision AFTER chimpy and his gang stole the election in 2000, and I’ve often wondered if they two were related….
I have a confession to make.
Tonight, for the first time in my life, I faked getting a phone call on my cell in order to escape a tedious conversation.
I hang my head in shame.
I had no idea about ol’ Merv, but I have definitely had some experiences with closeted men and women trying to mess with me in the workplace and academia. Nobody’s mean like a closet case is mean.
In a few cases, I managed to be tricky and cunning and turn the tables, once going so far as to out my married supervisor. But that’s what you get. He started it. It was for his family’s own good.
madmommy @ 23
Louis B Mayer is alleged to have demanded that Nancy Davis never be fired from MGM because of her head.
newdealfarmgrrrlll @ 24
Unfortunately, power and influence has a corrupting influence, with few exceptions…!!! 8-(
althespook @ 29
Really? I did not know that.
Suzanne @ 22
Correct. Because they are employed by corporations with agendas other than good journalism, unlike when media were largely indpendent. Another aspect of the death of journalism by media consolidation, IMO.
Oh, can we please not go there? All I can think about is how Ronnie called her “Mommy” and…euuhhhhh…
*full body shudder*
TJ @ 28
One possible response to such shock is, “You were expecting a man?” Gets things started on the right foot, don’t you think?
The Merv of that fellow!
LS @ 33
oh yeah. The laws weren’t mentioned or enforced but they were there and could be used if needed. The phrase “crime against nature” was often used as a euphemism to avoid mentioning specific orifices and activities. All deriving from the Puritans, of course….
TRex @ 30
It is kinder to fake a call to get out of a conversation that to tell someone to their face that you find them tedious. I am a firm believer in being kind when you can, why hurt someone when it can be avoided? it’s just those good southern manners showing through!
Whoa…Caymens could be in the way of a Cat 5…might flat there.
Was Mrs. Reagan gay? Or she hated gays?
Huh. I’ve always known Merv Griffin was gay. Don’t remember where, it was one of those way back things. Like Rock Hudson.
Anyway, the closet is a many aspected thing. For *most* people it’s simply personal. But as you illustrate, there’s a point where your closet affects too many other people and when it intersects with power, well.
So he was married with child(ren)?
Heterosexuals, I mean…I don’t have a problem with them, really. I don’t really think it’s natural, but who am I to judge? I just wish they wouldn’t insist on rubbing our faces in it. God, okay, already.
I have to kind of draw the line at straight marriage, though. Clearly, it’s a threat to the fabric of our society. Look what it did to Britney Spears.
Eureka Springs @ 37
Groan, lol.
TRex @ 30
That’s the first good reason I’ve heard for having one of those things.
SnarKassandra @ 41
1. Not that I’ve ever heard of. 2. If so, she is in denial.
TRex- YGM
hackworth @ 21
I don’t know, and since the case was dismissed, we may never know. But it was an extremely gilded curb Merv got kicked to, if that was what happened.
You were using good manners to get out of an awkward social situation. Nothing to be ashamed of, TRex.
Suzanne @ 50
And who here among us hasn’t done the same thing?
LS @ 47
I still don’t understand.
so, is Anderson Cooper the Merv of our generation?
TRex @ 44
Bless her heart, she’s just as tacky as they come.
TRex. Just because the phone rings and someone calls you, does not mean you have to answer it. No guilt there. You are not obliged to speak to everyone that wants to speak to you whenever they want to.
TRex @ 44
Now, T, I certainly would not want to deprive ya’ll of the ‘pleasures’ of marriage, you know, alimony, palimony… but, we do have to procreate…!!! :P
SnarKassandra @ 41
Mrs. Reagan is extremely homophobic. She doesn’t just hate gays, she is AFRAID of them. She acts as if sitting next an openly gay person could cause a previously non-gay person to suddenly become gay. Since reportedly she and Merv were the best of friends, she obviously would not be pleased to be forced to acknowledge that her dear friend was one of “them”. So the snarky comment above.
And the reason gay people are in closets isn’t fear of the Xtianists. It is fear of bigotry, persecution, and hate crimes from ordinary people in big and small communities. That’s why for so long New York and San Francisco were so special to many gays and lesbians (and please include lesbians as part of “gay” as being discussed here, for example Ellen Degeneres is openly Lesbian and was a longtime partner of Anne Heche) is that they could be “out of the closet” there without as much fear as say, Austin Texas in 1970. The acceptance of the reality and validity of the GLBT communities is one of the major social accomplishments of the last several decades.
TJ @ 26
Unfortunately it is often the case that it is safer to do so … so many vicious physical attacks. A number of years ago two men were physically assaulted in down Minneapolis by some thugs who thought they were gay. Biological brothers, out for a night on the town. & to me, whether they were brothers or lovers (erlack, not both…incest not ok in my book) the violence is not ok.
So many religious totlitarians base their bible beliefs totally on the old testament, which is full of really disgusting tribal level stuff if you read it closely. The hate-filled religious types use this to justify incest and persecution of gays. Jesus said, “I give unto you a new commandment, love one another.” So many who claim to have admitted Jesus into their hearts sure the fuck don’t listen to what He said.
(rolls eyes at self and gets off soapbox.)
Louis B Mayer is alleged to have demanded that Nancy Davis never be fired from MGM because of her head.
Ronnie Raygun loved Nancy’s head so much that he divorced Jane Wyman and married Nancy. Ronnie found that Nancy’s head helped him to relax. Ronnie’s bouts of petulant behavior which much aleviated by Nancy’s head.
Ironically, Nancy’s head helped Ronnie win the presidency as a moral values candidate.
SnarKassandra @ 52
1. I have never heard, nor do I have any reason to believe one way or the other whether she was gay.
2. If she ever expressed that she did not love gay people, maybe she mispoke.
An interesting closet dynamic I observed: During high school in the late 70’s, gay students who were out and unapologetic were generally left alone, while closet cases were harassed continually. It seemed odd to me that the sanction would be directed against the deniers more than the out, but such was so.
CTuttle @ 18
.
.
Gotta wonder about those acting lessons and workouts.
Thank you Alfred!
What is so wonderful about her head?
Nancy’s head may have appeared too big because the rest of her was anorexically dimensioned.
TeddySanFran @ 61
Teddy, you’re evil…!!! ;-)
From the Manly Men Comments:
Me3 @ 214
SnarKassandra @ 63
It is freakishly large in comparison to the rest of her body. In some photos it looks as though someone got stoned and photo-shopped her, badly. Don’t ask why I can recall this picture specifically, but one of the inaugural photos, when she wore a white off the shoulder gown, her head looks especially huge.
SnarKassandra @ 62
You’re welcome, Cassie. Please remember that in many cases we don’t answer your direct, honest, forthright and quite valid questions because:
a) we are ashamed of ourselves for stopping asking such questions ourselves far too long ago.
b) we are hiding behind snark and word play from the agony of a world which is sometimes so awful it is unbearable and we don’t have the guts to tell you that.
c) We genuinely never saw the connection you ask about.
We’re aren’t ignoring you, we really aren’t…
madmommy @ 67
sounds ugly to me.
SnarKassandra @ 69
pretty much
madmommy @ 67
That is so funny, I can’t stand it….I can’t breathe.
RonD @ 34
I have to disagree. I don’t think media has gone downhill just because of consolidation. For examples, just look at the WaPo of the NYT. Both are god awful these days.
SnarKassandra @ 69
She is, in every sense of the word…
SHUT UP, Y’ALL, SERIOUSLY!
GOD!
Suzanne @ 50
We must hope that the person on the other end of the phone does not read this blog, however. Another instance of real life intersecting blog life. Did I tell you all about going in to my client’s office on Monday, after my very satisfying YKos rant? — only to discover that my newly hired client/supervisor — starting that week — served on the organizing committee!
TRex @ 74
Whaaaaaaaaat!! Snort!
althespook @ 68
So just say (A) (B) or (C). That’s fine. Or tell me to ask my brother or my aunt if it is THAT kind of question.
LS @ 71
The worst part is now I can see that picture in my head clearly. And I will have to attempt sleep soon with that image. I only have one bottle of wine, methinks it is not enough!
“I have to kind of draw the line at straight marriage, though. Clearly, it’s a threat to the fabric of our society. Look what it did to Britney Spears.”
*************
I agree — and I am straight. No marriage for gays — no marriage for heteros. That is my word. LOL (I was married for a long time — now have had a live-in BF for a long time. This is better.)
That’s just me, though. Why can’t everyone just let individuals make their own decisions? I suppose I could blame some GAY MAN for ruining my marriage, but I am too honest — it was the booze. :-)
Is it possible that people can be in the closet because they consider it a game? Kinda living a double life adventure? Is there a subset that are in the closet for fun?
TRex @ 74
That dress is straight from Wal-Mart !
Joe Klein’s conscience @ 72
They are both financially weak. Their atrocious behavior is likely due to a desperate need for corporate advertising, like the “forever new frontiers” of Boeing which is of course insane from a technical business standpoint because they don’t sell to ordinary people. For example, when was the last time you chose a flight based on whether or not the plane was a boeing?
SnarKassandra @ 77
…or (D), Cassie, enjoy your youth!!! *g*
Honestly…I’m not making this up..there was a study that successful famous people had BIG HEADS!! The study I saw..on teevee…showed all the famous people and, you know what?…They all had big heads!! Must be creationism or somethin’.
oddmommy @ 53
The VIllage Voice’s Michael Musto, who has no birthdate on wiki, examines this conundrum.
SnarKassandra @ 69
Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait: “Bazaar magazine ranks Nancy Reagan as one of the 10 most beautiful women in the world.Yeah. Bazaar. I wonder where Total F*ck*ng Bullsh*t magazine ranks her?”
Twain @ 82
Who would have ever though that Kevin would come out looking like the responsible parent in that couple???
SnarKassandra @ 69
You be the judge, Cassie.
madmommy @ 78
It is a very triangular head too..strange.
CTuttle @ 56
CT< has no one explained to you that marriage isn't required for procreation???!!!</p>
Cassie, please keep asking the questions. There are too many people in the world who pretend to know things. Knowledge is power.
RonD @ 86