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This is what you get
This is what you get
When you mess with us.
(Radiohead, "Karma Police")
Incredible how quickly things can change out here on the electronic frontier. Today's super-hyped, Ultra Super Mega Blog to End All Blogs is tomorrow's domain for sale. Today's Titan of New Media is tomorrow's "Uh, who?". Many rockets may rise in the rough and tumble world of blogging, and yet so many of them break up on re-entry that, frankly, it's hard to keep track anymore.
You may remember Jim VandeHei and John Harris from their splashy farewell party at the ComPost (That's the Comstock Post, ya greenhorn! The WaPo is changing its name. Dinchoo hear?). Last we saw of them, those two brave souls were off to help found The Politico, a super duper multi-media news blog with VIDEO!
Thus far in its short career supplanting broadcast news, print media, and of course, all other blogs, the Politico has carried precisely one scoop that had any legs. And those legs vanished in under a week.
Mr. Greenwald? Produce the body!
As was discussed earlier this week, right-wing bloggers (along with Frank Gaffney) created "The Victory Caucus," artificially pumped up its traffic statistics by collectively and repeatedly linking to it, and then excitedly pointed to that traffic as evidence that they had tapped into latent though powerful pro-war sentiment among Americans which was spawning a new online movement. That ruckus, in turn, caused easily manipulated reporters to write articles and broadcast stories touting this new, exciting, surging Pro-War online Phenomenon.
(snip)
So, how is the right's MoveOn.org doing now? How "huge" is the "chunk" of pro-war enthusiasts eager to punish Republicans who turn against the war? Here is the Victory Caucus's Site Meter chart, showing its daily visit numbers for the month, current through today:
That doesn't look much like a Victory Arc. What it actually looks like is that someone found a corpse, hooked it up to an EKG machine, injected it with a single high-powered electrical jolt, screamed about the resulting miracle of the moving corpse's re-birth, tricked gullible journalists into writing about the miracle, and then immediately abandoned the corpse again, allowing it to return to its peaceful, quiet death.
Ouch.
Over at Sadly, No!, the commenters are calling it "The Victory Carcass".
So. Sad. What's the web coming to when you can't even pump your own statistics by a circle jerk of incestuous linking and get away with it? How will the Right Wing rabble ever keep up, now?
But speaking of Right Wing Rabble, apparently after all of his tough talk last week about outing the personal information of Sadly, No! writer HTML Mencken, Tacitus (aka Josh Trevino) has abruptly shut down his blog and vanished from the TOOBZ. All that was left on the site was a broken toy light saber with two dead batteries and a cryptic note.
Again?
They say there are 3 hundred billion new blogs born every second, or something like that, and I think Ticky Tacky is responsible for half of them:
- joshua.trevino.at is offline.
Something big is coming in several months.
Contact:
joshua
--at--
trevino
--dot--
at-Atrios 1:06 PM
Sad. But funny. Funny as hell. I thought this was his Big Comeback. Wasn't he going to kick some ass, out some liberal bloggers' names and personal information, and make the world wide web safe again for man-children who write like solid marble douchebags?
Josh, dude, I don't think it's much of a comeback if it lasts even less time than a Britney Spears stint in a rehab unit. What happened? Where's that plucky little Jedi Padawan we all know? Was the heat too much for you with everybody calling you on the blatant hypocrisy of your stance on "outing"? Did your wife find the steamy homoerotic IM's you've been exchanging with Patterico? Did she look in your tackle box when you came home from that last fishing trip and see that you'd never even opened it and got the little note she left you? Did Michelle MalKKKin step in and order you to stop publishing people's contact information before somebody prints hers on line again and ruins her TV show's big, splashy debut?
Ah, Mysteries of the Interwebs. Well, since we all know that the Wingnut bloggers are each about as emotionally stable as a Border Collie on crystal meth, and since they can't stop obsessively Googling their names, Tacitus will probably show up here in the comments tonight to explain to us all why he's not, in fact, leaving the web, but writing a screenplay, or going to work for the Giuliani campaign, or something. (And he'll probably say my name over and over like he did the other night, "What do you think of that, DAVID? MR. FERGUSON?! DAVID FERGUSON? The Ferguson whose REAL name is DAVID? DAVID FERGUSON? DAAAAAAAAAVID FEEEEEEERRRRRGUSON??!!")
Wingnuts are like herpes sores. They might disappear for a while, but every moment you enjoy without them around brings you closer to the next painful, embarrassing, incapacitating outbreak.
That's why our blog uses ValTRex™, the medication that has been clinically proven to stop wingnut outbreaks in their tracks, reduce the duration of each infestation, and prevent future attacks. Ask your doctor about ValTRex™ today!
And finally, tonight, three cheers for my favorite Pit Bull Pundit, Cliff Schecter, who called out Rush Limbaugh on "Paula Zahn Now". Shall we go to the transcript? The topic was rap lyrics and videos and misogyny:
SCHECTER: OK. I'm not absolving anybody.
But we just elected a new speaker of the House, in Nancy Pelosi, who is a woman. And all we heard all week were on her pantsuits, what this one looked like, what that one looked like. We didn't hear things about policy.
You have got people on the right who are going out and screaming every day, people like Rush Limbaugh, who screamed feminazi, feminazi, feminazi.
(CROSSTALK)
MADISON: Or the feminization of America.
SCHECTER: In his case, he's on a pound of OxyContin every day, so that's OK.
(CROSSTALK)
HOLMES: Let's talk about the subject at hand.
No, screw that! Let's go back to Limbaugh's filthy, all-consuming drug habit! Is buying illegal painkillers off your immigrant maid a Family Value, Rushie? Or is that just if you steal them from your great aunt's medicine cabinet?
Of course, as with any such interjection, I'm sure Schecter got that, "I shot an arrow in the air/It fell to earth I know not where" feeling. Did anybody catch that over the crosstalk? Did it just go by unnoticed?
Nope. Fucking BULLSEYE, baby!!
But let's start with this: Rush Limbaugh attacked me today on his radio show. For attacking him. He left out my best line of course, about him and a pound a day of Oxycontin. But it's Rush we're talking about, so 75% accuracy is a wonderful day:
BEGIN TRANSCRIPTRUSH: Last night on CNN's Paula Zahn Now they were talking about hip-hop, the music, the culture, and the lyrics. Somehow my name came up in this discussion. The guest was somebody named Cliff Schecter, an expert. Never heard of him. He's from AmericaBlog.com, and this is what he said.
SCHECTER: There's misogyny throughout our culture. We just elected a new speaker of the House and Nancy Pelosi is a woman and all we heard all week were on her pantsuits, what this one looked like, what that one looked like. We didn't hear things about policy. You've got people on the right who are going out and screaming every day, people like Rush Limbaugh who scream feminazi, feminazi, feminazi.
Poor Rush, free baser on the fritz today?
"Never heard of him", eh, Limpy? You will, you bloated sausage-skin of a man. You will. This is only the beginning.
As Cintra Wilson said in her Oscars Essay at Salon:
Finally, there was one genuinely historic moment: Jerry Seinfeld presenting the Academy Award to Al Gore, who received an A-List standing O in front of a billion viewers. Respect for the office of the American presidency notwithstanding, it should be noted that Sunday night, Hollywood successfully Photoshopped Al Gore's foot into George W.'s ass.
The plates are shifting, people. The trend is irreversible. At this rate, Texas and the entire Republican Party will be completely underwater by 2008.
YEAH!! RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHRRR!!!
It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of dickheads.
You got a problem with that? Huh?!
Share This 
Spotlight
TRex!
Balrog checking in.
TRex !!
EPU’d from prev:
—————————
Thot U all might find this interesting: Late this afternoon, about a half-hour before the jury was sent home, a new person showed up over in the “Gabbly chat.” There were about 20 of us around, and the crowd was beginning to thin out a bit. She (because she later self-identified as a 12-year-old girl) was very curious as to what we were all doing there, how old we were, what our various life experiences were, and the like. She really “sounded” genuine, and was genuinely shocked at what she heard us telling her about the state of the country, and that the President and Vice President had likely committed treason.
It was really a nice session; it felt like us older folks were “clustering around” this new member of the clan, who took the handle “Sharon,” encouraging her interest, praising her curiosity about politics, and helping with her political and Civics education. Though it is sad to pass on our communal vision of the rotten state of the country, it felt good to be speaking truth to someone who gets so little of it in the rest of her life… I know we all will be happy if she shows back tomorrow… I just wanted to tell U all this FWIW.
TRex, where can I get some of that ValTRex?
TRex!
balrog!!
TSF!!!
Woohoo! Trifecta!
Mommybrain @
6
Mombo-Brainiac completes the scene!
Mommybrain @
6
Whoohoo yourself, MB!!
Good, as always, to see you.
How long has it been since Runt Limpdick was actually quoted in an FDL post? Was it as long ago as his Dominican misadventure? I think that tells us everything we need to know about the state of his punditing “career.”
I lurk, I pack, I move, I shout SURPRISE, I go back to lurking. Lerv to you all.
I love it when you leave Trevino sputtering.
EvilDrPuma @ 9
Rush fell out of the pundit tree.
(Geddit? Punditry? Oh, never mind.)
I haven’t looked around tonight; has the non-heart-shirted Mummy from the depths of hell lady that read Driftglass in the Ladies room at the court house while smoking a phatty been discussed much?
Last I saw her name was Edna. Well of course it was.
But seriously, has there been anymore regarding her gig?
So Tacitus is finally living up to his name and going silent? Even if it’s only for a while, that calls for a celebration.
Mommybrain @ 10
You are always a welcome Monster Shouter here.
TRex, I am sorely in need of a belly laugh or two after this stressful day. Libby juror out, 11 jurors left, Fitz frowning, Swingin’ Dick spreading his special brand of luv all over Pakistan, Sy Hersh’s story about Bush funding the very Sunnis who are responsible for most of the American casualties in Iraq…
I need to breathe; I need to laugh, so I can get up out of bed tomorrow.
Hey, why doesn’t FDL have a
Board of Governors
like the Victory Carcass? Fucking pretentious twits.
Trevino the Jedi Bastard:
He must have wandered off to try out the new p*n*s pump.
Alicia @ 15
ah hell, do what i’ll be doing.
calling in sick and pulling the covers back over my head.
Peterr @ 13
Oh, Peterr. One thing you learn when you’ve been at this for a while. Wingnuts never go entirely silent. They just go into remission.
TRex @ 8
hey, mb, where ya been?
TRex @ 11
Oh, I get it. Should I have my therapist bill you?
Did Schecter happen to mention Limpbough’s gerkin enhancers?
I checked my copy of Who’s Who for Josh. Not happening.
Then I checked my copy of Who the Fuck. Nothing.
Oilfieldguy @ 23
If he had, he’d have gotten himself in a right pickle.
Balrog @ 12
We are, apparently, only to speak of art-curatress in fact-based mode. So watch yerself.
Alicia with the zero, ding!
Oilfieldguy @ 23
I actually did in an updated post I put up at Huffpost - it went like this:
You see, he never heard of me. Because, for example, I haven’t been arrested for doctor shopping, exporting penis pills to The Dominican Republic under a false name and haven’t been divorced three times. But I digress.
And thanks for the mention T-Rex. You my man are my favorite pit bull!!!
Balrog @ 27
Hooray!
T-Rex! I love it when you go Paleolithic on their asses. Speaking of that, wow, didn’t KO bust Condo-lies-a’s ass tonight? Whoo-weee!
Well, the wife’s dragging me off to bed! Night all!
I am glad to read that Tucker’s Hair was among those punk’d by The Carcass. Somehow fitting.
TRex @ 20
So let’s raise a toast to the remission!
TRex @ 28
I can no longer read that word without hearing it in Doctor Zoidberg’s voice.
Peterr @ 30
Ding!
dmg @ 18
TeddySanFran @ 26
Hmmm, fact-based, huh?
Pass.
Tired. Billmon. A bit uplifting… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRLSBtF_pZQ
Paid chnnels( go they must be cheap) Massive education effort needed to retain on who to hate.
I’m going to go back and read Trex post as soon as I get done typing this comment, but by the time I get done reading,you guys will be on some number way beyond here and I wanted to thank those of you that asked about my letter to Bob Schieffer at #14 on the Ethics, Anyone thread. I got some editing help from NZ Expat, who happens to be a composition teacher at a state university (just what I needed!) I loved her edit, so it’s signed, sealed and will be sent out AM. Thank you for asking, and for your flattering comments. I’m sorry I was unable to get back sooner. What follows is the final version:
Dear Mr. Schieffer,
This is not the letter I wanted to write. I wanted to tell you how much I have enjoyed your work for years and how I expected to continue that enjoyment for years to come. However, on February 22, 2007, I heard your comments on the Imus show, and now must write this letter instead.
I am ashamed that such a seasoned, experienced and seemingly competent purveyor of news could advocate not enforcing the law of land. You implied that you were afraid that the enforcement of the law would affect the press and bring the freedom of the press to an abrupt halt. But, of late, the press has neither been free, nor have they exhibited the expertise to be called the press. They are not the Fourth Estate of our ancestors. Members of the press have sacrificed their role as questioners to become stenographers and propagandists for an arguably corrupt federal administration.
Something is wrong when a colleague with the stature achieved by Tim Russert can say in open court, without any apparent compunctions, that when he talks to public officials, he always considers what they say as “off the record” unless otherwise specified. When did this change occur? Public officials should mind their words when talking to reporters, not the other way around. That’s why they’re called “public” officials.
Where is your concern for the fact that this administration outed a spy with over two decades of experience–a spy who was working on national security issues including what weapons of mass destruction can be found in Iraq and Iran? Where is your concern for the fact that a member of this administration saw fit to lie about it to the FBI, to the Grand Jury, and thereby attempted to obstruct justice? Thus “the press” is becoming complicit in remaking our country into a police state, but you, Bob Schieffer, are more concerned that your associates may lose their access. I regret that you are not more concerned that they have already lost their integrity. I’ll never be able to look at you and your colleagues with the same respect again.
Please give serious reconsideration to your previously faulty conclusions that the Libby case should not have been actively pursued. There is another serious related issue involved here that must be considered. At issue is the treatment of a private citizen who voices information about misrepresentations by the government, particularly in regard to the reasons for going to war. Isn’t that citizen acting in true patriotic duty? Should the press be complicit in silencing him, even if the silencing (or warning) involves outing his wife as a spy?
You voice concern about impairing the press’s rights, but the freedom of speech also extends to citizens. A very big issue is how far the members of the government should be allowed to go in pushing back against that private citizen when he blows the whistle on them. There is far more to this case than you and Imus have allowed, and insofar as you have influence over the public’s perceptions, you have done the public a disservice by so glibly and arrogantly dismissing the Prosecutor’s judgment and supplanting it with your own. There is a grave difference between a press complicit with covering up crimes and a press that seeks to put sunshine on wrongdoing.
I expect that you truly know this difference. That you attempt to fog the difference has truly disillusioned me about your professionalism and your ethics.
Oilfieldguy @ 23
I did in an updated Huff Post piece. It went like this:
You see, he never heard of me. Because, for example, I haven’t been arrested for doctor shopping, exporting penis pills to The Dominican Republic under a false name and haven’t been divorced three times. But I digress.
And thanks T-Rex, easily my favorite bulldog!!
Still laying some chill prevthread after earlobe’s bombshell
Balrog @ 26
Have no idea how that happened…desperation, I suppose!
TeddySanFran @ 40
Do tell.
You say your name is David Ferguson?
I remember once, when I was playing in a club in Laguna Beach, some guy came on to me, I think his name was…David Ferguson or something.
Were you in Laguna in 1980, hmmm?
AiAZ — great letter. Please let us know if you hear back.
Alicia @ 41
I think it was meant to be. You sound down, but the ding of the zero is rejuvenating.
How can I help?
Alicia @ 35
ValTRex: Possible, make that probable side effects, include; enlightenment, laughter, increased vocabulary, friendship, empowerment, happiness, and uncontrollable urges to….
ATTACK! AAATTTACKKK!! AAAAAAATTTTTTTAAACCKKK!!!!!
If your arousal lasts more than four hours, good on ya!
Excellent choice of song tonight, TRex. One of the best off that album. Perfect for the many pundit wannabe’s that only dig themselves in that much deeper. *evil grin*
Ann in AZ @ 38
ann, all props be unto you for putting together this splendid bill of particulars. but don’t expect mr. schieffer to pay it much mind. it’s too long and well reasoned for that.
schieffer’s also quite close to the bushes; his brother is, if i’m not mistaken, now serving as an ambassador, possibly to australia.
This is off topic, but a page brightener for these dreer times. I met a very old couple the other day. They walked very slowly, hand in hand, and it was good they walked slow, since they could not see very good. She gave me a big smile, and I asked her how long they had been together.
She looked at her husband and smiled even bigger, looked back at me and said her husband stole her. He rode up to her house and got her and said he was going to marry her. She said her father didn’t even know. She told me she took off one of her shoes, wrote 18 on a piece of paper, folded it up, placed it in her shoe and put her shoe back on.
The Justice of Peace asked her how old she was, she prouldly told him she was over eighteen.
She told the story good, and I hope I’ve done it justice. Somehow it just me feel good thinking about it.
Balrog, you have a vivid imagination. Driftglass in the loo…love it.
TSF, we be movin’ on down the road. We put our house up, found a sucker and now we’re new suckers ourselves. I am having a recurring nightmare that Dickless Cheney will start it with Iran the day escrow closes. In my dream, chaos ensues.
YK2, you?
Cliff Schecter @ 38
RAAAAAAAAAHHRRR!!
But if I were a dog, I would definitely be a Chow.
So MalKKKin and some Clinton-ista had some show on Pox News over the weekend? How long before Schecter and TRex pair up and rock the airwaves? Now that would be worth the price of admission and a hot dog!
SteveAudio @ 42
Um, I was 11 in 1980.
The Victory Caucus results reminded of the fiasco with the Iraqpartnership plan that was presented about a year and a half ago by the President as a way that people who supported the war could donate to civil reconstruction.
I mean what better way for Conservatives to show they supported the war AND Conservatism by not having the taxpayer cover the bills of Iraq’s reconstruction. One would think that some of those firms receiving the hundreds of billions of dollars in US taxpayer contracts would throw a bit into the war effort.
Well in the first six months after it was announced the fund had received an embarassing $1000 in contributions. hat was less than 0.2% of its projected goals…and the mere operation of yje site by the group cost US taxpayers $60,000!
http://www.usaid.gov/cgi-bin/g.....ership.org
http://news.findlaw.com/wash/s.....51221.html
I don’t know if the site is defunct now but the link from the State Department/USAID seems to have gone defunct or has been hacked into for over six months without anyone noticing in the Administration.
TRex @ 54
yeah, but you looked 14.
bonkers @ 46
That’s the spirit!!
dmg @ 55
I was actually dating a redhead at the time, but her name was Sue.
Have they no shame? Liberal culture termites.
;>)
As the contracted webmaster for Strom Thurman’s blog I’m really disturbed by this post. The spike in volume is expected, like this Sharpton story would probably lead to something like that if the site was up already, but the ‘flash in the pan’ effect detailed here is something my financiers don’t want.
I’ve been resisting the standard “white man’s only weakness is the desire for cheap labor” tact, but if we’re going to hold onto a certain level of visitors, it’ll have to be more of that than anything else I think.
I don’t know…maybe I shouldn’t have ever quit my job at Target…
Ann in AZ - nice
Go TRex and all late niters! Thanks for the Radiohead.
bonkers @ 53
Oh how much fun that would be. Our own show T-Rex. What do you think we’d talk about?
What a joke that Fox show is. Powers is the usual sell out pathetic “I was a low-level Clinton staffer” moron.
Balrog @ 44
You just did! :-)
Seriously, I need to laugh. A lot. Troll-slaying, second-hand wingnuttery - it’s all good.
On top of everything else on this swell day, I had the kids at the grocery store, and forgot to turn my car lights off. Battery dies. In a parking lot chock full of cars, right next to a gas station, I could not get anyone to take a minute to give me a jump. I had my own cables and everything.
Good news is, I had AAA, which is the bomb, but i felt a little silly calling them in the midst of hundreds of operational cars. I did, though, and the guy was super nice. Just shook his head and said, “No one wants to help any one anymore”, and got me started.
The bitch of it is that I’m the one who always jumps other people if I see they need a hand.
And you know what? I bet y’all are, too.
Something just tells me.
Ann in AZ - great letter - well done
Cliff Schecter @ 62
I’ve told you we could call our show, “Assault and Flattery with Cliff and David”.
We’d be the biggest thing since Olbermann.
dab_from_CT @ 65
I second that e-motion.
Could I be an infrequent guest who doles out cheaterpipe shampoos?
Alicia @ 64
You don’t think anyone’s falling for that “uh, I’m really sorry but my battery’s dead” trick now-a-days, do you? Shoot…after Natalee Hollaway disappeared, I’ve been strapped with a taser and nutcracker flail at all times. Sure as hell ain’t opening up my hood for a stranger…
that’s how it happens!
Oh, gosh.
Steve Gilliard is having to go in for a round of open-heart surgery.
Everybody say a prayer, y’all.
TRex @ 66
Third. Exceptional.
And did anyone catch the release of General Peter Pace’s 2006 Review of Military Readiness? It says that if the US military has to become involved in another military event that the forces would likely “break” from the Strain of Afghanistan and ESPECIALLY Iraq.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/200.....rzFsKs0NUE
Iraq has put the US Military on the precipice of having to fight a war with exhausted, ill-equipped, and insufficient troops to deal with even a minor “Liberia-type” intervention. Even such interventions would set them up for a Lebanon-style disaster.
Pace was making this evaluation BEFORE Bush decided upon the “Surge”. So, very likely the forces going in there fulfill Pace’s criteria of being ill-prepared and ill-equipped…if not stressed and unrested.
This report essentially supports the Democrats call for the troops being prematurely deployed to have more time, better training and upgraded equipment before they set foot in Iraq.
yes2K
TRex @ 65
If only one wingnut’s head explodes, it will be so worth it!
TRex @ 70
double crap, TRex. that is news i did not want to hear. said a prayer just on hearing the news and will continue to do so.
Alicia @ 64
Just keep up your posting here and know that it’s appreciated.
Then break open that last pallet of Orville Redenbacher’s Extra Lard Topping Packing Peanuts and get ready for a guilty verdict tomorrow.
You see what happens, Gary? You see what happens…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqtgfjkB6Pg
TRex @ 69
Good grief. Godspeed, Steve.
Alicia @ 15
If it’s a belly laugh you need, watch the rerun of Keith’s latest special comment. I laughed nearly all the way through. He pretty much tore Rice a new one. She really used the wrong metaphors. She should have known better.
9 out of* ten bloggers recommend:
[Ta-Da!]
(the tenth is unmarried, living in his parents’ basement, and comprised - by weight - of 14% TacoBowl and 5% Cheetos.)
Steve Gilliard is having to go in for a round of open-heart surgery.
Everybody say a prayer, y’all.
oh dear….we need a candle page Rene in Ohio?
That’s where the cheaterpipe shampoos come in, head
bustexploding probabilities increase exponentially…virtually guaranteed.TRex @ 69
And it’s round two of open heart surgery.
Prayers are on their way.
Looks like the Plumbers might have been called out of retirement to do some dirty work in NH.
-GSD
Hi, everyone. I am one of those lurkers mentioned a couple of nights ago. Please be kind. I came here because of my interest in the Wilson/Plame affair, just before the book was released, and have visited regularly. Late nite FDL is a wonderful thing to read after all the bad news. Scheiffer, Thomas, was US ambassador from 2001 to 2005.
TRex @ 70
Prayed…prayed hard. Steve’s too ornery to need it, though.
Alicia - Your jumper commment was ripe for a ValTRex joke….but yes I am that type too…)
Debbie(aussie) @ 84
Welcome, Debbie(aussie)!! Jump in! The Lake is warm tonight!
Debbie(aussie) @ 84
Welcome out of the shadows, Debbie(aussie) — don’t be shy about speaking up!
deadissue @ 69
Well, I was wedged in between a mess of cars with 3 kids in the car - I hope I wasn’t that threatening!
darkblack @ 59
And the technicians who did so won the Academy Award for both “Special Effects” and (to hold Bush down) “Grips”.
BTW I heard Libby won a Lifetime Achievement Award as “Best Boy”, and Victoria Toensing for “Best In Show”. Wait, that was at the Westminster Dog Show.
GSD @ 84
Probably GOPers looking for their court-ordered monthly contributions. Doesn’t that go on for years and years?
OT:
Hey Bay Area ‘pups…
lightning and thunder walking with us….
approx 20 secs from flash to rumbles…
hope the lightshow comes your way….
TRex @
70
I don’t do prayer, but I’ll keep good thoughts in mind for him.
Don’t blame me…I didn’t do it!