flying machine

Something tells me that if you checked the astrological and cosmic portents for new ventures today, they would all say, "Don't do it!  This is not a perfect plan!"

At least, that's the sense I'm getting from two different announcements of Big New Projects I have read about since this morning.  We'll see which one eats dirt first.

First up, we have Allbritton Media, one of those...media thingies, some kind of massive multi-multi-media platform that's going to put all of television, publishing, and blogging out of business.  (I know I'm scared.)  Just like HotSoup.  Remember HotSoup?  Me, neither.  

So, why am I writing about this?  Well, don't everybody cry at once, but they've lured Pool Boy away from the WaPo!

(via Wonkette) 

Top political reporters Jim VandeHei and John Harris are leaving the Washington Post to act as accomplices in yet another new media bullshit show. This one’s some sort of website that will revolutionize political reporting — with VIDEO and shit.

(snip)

This is a huge coup for Allbritton Communications, the party responsible for this shitstorm of hype, and we can only hope it’s as much of a huge success as HotSoup, the REVOLUTIONARY NEW INTERACTIVE ONE-STOP POLITICAL WEBSITE/COMMUNITY that lured Ron Fournier away from the Associated Press.

DID WE MENTION THERE’S VIDEO?!?

That means Pool Boy's going to another high school!  What'll we do?!  We never got to see how his various facial hair experiments concluded!  We'll never get to enjoy his, euh, refreshing take on the Plame outing again!  Not that I don't believe Allbritton has EVERY chance of success, but...wait, Jim!  Let us get one last look at you!  Can I take a quick picture?

And hello to your lovely wife!  (Who's she working for now that Tom DeLay's former staff have all told Shelley Sekula-Gibbs where she can stick it?) 

In other News of the Doomed, Pox News think they're funny.  They're going to start their own version of "The Daily Show".

(via Reuters) 

Fox News Channel might air two episodes of a "Daily Show"-like program with a decidedly nonliberal bent on Saturday nights in late January, with the possibility that it could become a weekly show.

The half-hour show would take aim at what executive producer Joel Surnow, the co-creator of "24," calls "the sacred cows of the left" that don't get made as much fun of by other comedy shows.

Oh, joy.  Oh, rapture.  I'm so excited I could puke on my shoes.

Taped before a studio audience in Los Angeles, the show will feature two co-anchors, actors Kurt Long ("Cuts," "Games Across America") and Susan Yeagley ("Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Reno 911!"). It also will feature person-on-the-street interviews and correspondent reports like other shows. But Surnow said it's not going to be strictly conservative but more in the spirit of the old and rebellious "Saturday Night Live."

"It's not going to hit you over the head with partisan politics," Surnow said. "It'll hit anything that deserves to be hit." 

Good luck with that.  I'm sure it'll be "Fair and Balanced" like everything else you dickweeds do.

You guys should really drop this one before it bites you.  I'm not kidding.  Humor should never be made by the irony-impaired.  It will only end in tears, I guarantee it.

Besides, you guys already do a comedy show, Fox and Friends.  The only people who don't realize how hilarious it is are, well, the people who work there.  Quit while you're ahead, you dumb clucks!  Good comedy is a very delicate and intricate business.  You should leave that to hard-working professionals like me.  It just takes a quick glance at your side of the aisle to establish that Reich Wingers are only funny when they're trying to be serious.

As Jane said:

Which is all by way of saying I don't think we'll be seeing the Steven Colbert of the right any time soon, but they may well work themselves up a Howie Mandel or a Carrot Top or two as they watch the opportunistic rats scuttle over the gunwales of their rapidly sinking ship. 

File under "small consolation."

Yeah.